For a start – dreadful title.  The book should never have gone into print with this title and it is hard to escape the notion that it was contrived to create sensation.  From reviews elsewhere, it is evident that some people have reacted so strongly to the title that they have gone into hissy-fit mode without actually having read the book.

Susan Clancy is a researcher at Harvard University.  She studied a sample of over two hundred men and women who had been sexually abused as children and who responded to ads she had placed in the Boston Globe (and other newspapers) in the Boston area.

Briefly, what she found was that the majority of her subjects did not experience their sexual abuse as traumatic at the time it happened.  They were children, they did not understand sexual matters, they were puzzled, confused, sometimes pleased about the attention they received, but not traumatized at the time.  The trauma, with all its attendant psychological problems came later, when they realised and understood what had been done to them and all its implications.  Then came the sense of betrayal, of violation, shame, guilt, disgust, anger – all the things we associate with sexual abuse victims.

I must say that this came as no surprise to me – subject to the caveats in my notes below.  I have worked in a special prison unit for sexual offenders against children and I know only too well how most offenders “groom” their victims over time, to make their advances seem normal and innocuous, snaring children into sexual contact that can sometime be continued for years.  And, most sexual offenders are known to their victims, often being in positions of trust.

Susan C goes further, however in that she contends that sexual abuse therapists’ adherence to the trauma model of sexual abuse (that the abuse must have been traumatic at the time it occurred and that a child will only participate in abuse if forced threatened or coerced,)  discounts victims’ experience and “shackles (them) in chains of guilt, secrecy and shame.”  She thinks that adherence to the trauma model brings about a situation whereby victims do not find their experiences understood, do not experience satisfactory outcomes in therapy and that all of this allows a climate of sexual abuse to continue.

This, of course raises more hackles!

I have read the book carefully and it is plain to me that Susan C has a compassionate regard for victims of sexual abuse, has an understanding of the people she had contact with and is quite unequivocal that sexual abuse can never be seen as the responsibility of the victim, in any way, nor can victims be blamed for the abuse.  That said, I don’t necessarily agree with all she has said.

For a start, I wonder how many experienced sexual abuse therapists adhere to the trauma model in quite the way she has described.  I would be surprised if most nowadays do not have an understanding of the grooming process I alluded to above and how this can “normalise” the experience of abuse for a child - for a time.

More tellingly perhaps, I think she generalizes too extensively from the experiences of the subjects in her study.  She states in the introduction that she avoided recruiting subjects from therapists’ offices to avoid ending up with a biased sample ( i.e. those in therapy.)  Instead she placed ads in newspapers.  She does not appear to realise that in doing this, she would have ended up with a different form of biased sample – those who could read, who would read, who would respond to a newspaper ad, who could respond (many are in institutions, for example.)   

So the outcome is a book which seems to have sharply polarised many people and deeply offended some.  It is worth reading for the fact that it outlines a number of features of sexual abuse of children which should be evident.  And her ideas are worth exploring and debating.  At the same time, it contains a number of statements (victims make “errors of judgement” for example,) that would make many of us uneasy.  I suspect that had she been a therapist carrying out this research, she would have written a somewhat different book.

Additional notes for those who are interested:

There is a continuum of  severity of sexual abuse and of the way victims experience it.  I don’t think the book covers this particularly well.  It is not a smooth continuum either, but has various links and side-roads and can be very complex.  Below are some of my understandings of this – doubtless I have missed some things:

Warning – what follows is very unpleasant.

1.  The child is accosted by a stranger.  Intrusiveness can range from exposure to severe sexual assault/violation. This “stranger danger” is relatively rare, but it happens.  Injury may be extensive.  Depending on the level of intrusiveness, trauma may be immediate and severe, depending on severity of assault.

2.  Injury following sexual abuse (from any source) can be severe, requiring surgical intervention – bowel resection, anal repair, vaginal repair etc.  Trauma, in such cases, is immediate and severe.

3.  Abuse of child takes place within a subculture of endemic sexual abuse – either a family or community.  Adults know what is going on, but lack the will or knowledge to stop it.  Abuse may be accepted as part of growing up and victim’s feelings are not considered, or are discounted.  Offenders often do not consider they have done anything wrong.  Trauma us usually immediate and severe.

4.  Sexual abuse takes place in the context of other familial abuse – physical, psychological, intimidation, random severe punishment, scapegoating etc.  Often also a climate of violence, drug/alcohol abuse, neglect etc. Victim’s feelings are not considered and abuse may be seen as taking pressure off others.  Usually multiple and immediate traumas.

5.  Abuse takes place in the context of a severely dysfunctional family.  Caregiving parent sometimes knows of the abuse and colludes with the abuser.  Child may be punished for not complying with abuser’s demands.  Trauma is immediate and severe.  Probably multiple traumas.

6.  A variation of #4 above – abuse takes place in the context of wider community neglect, violence drug abuse, poverty, maltreatment etc.  No one knows, or particularly cares about the abuse.  Victim may or may not be groomed by offender.  Trauma may be delayed or immediate.

7.  A child may experience serial sexual abuse by several abusers.  These children often learn to please adults by complying with abuse advances, or may even initiate sexual contact.  Trauma may be delayed but always severe.

8.  Offender is known to the victim, and is often in a position of trust, for example baby-sitter, parent, uncle, aunt, older sibling etc.  The child is “groomed” so that the abuse, when it occurs appears innocuous or “normal.”  As noted in the book, the child may be puzzled, confused, vaguely disturbed, may be pleased to receive the attention and may respond to the abuse.  Trauma is delayed, but then often severe, especially if the child responds to the abuse.  I have heard people say “I went along with this sick ****.  I even enjoyed it – therefore I must be a sick ****.”

9.  A variation of #7 is that the victim is groomed by the offender, but also intimidated or coerced, or blackmailed into silence.  “If you tell, I will go to jail.  If you tell, no one will believe you.  If you tell you will go to jail.  If you tell I will hurt you (hurt your mother) etc etc.  The child is aware that something is dreadfully wrong and trauma develops rapidly.

10.  Children may be sexually abused by other children – either older or younger than them.  A degree of sexual contact amongst children may be considered normal (playing doctors and nurses sort of thing) but some assaults by children on other children may be quite disturbed and nasty and are committed by the next generation of sexual offenders coming on-line so to speak.  Trauma may be immediate and quite severe.

I note these categories as if they are clear cut and distinct.  They may be, but there may also be blurring or mixing of various features – for example, a child may be subjected to a grooming type abuse over time by a trusted person, in the context of a violent neglectful family who have inflicted physical and emotional abuse on the child.

Child abuse victims often become sexualized and act out sexually, sometime initiating sexual activity.  (See, for example, The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, Perry & Salavitz – reviewed on this site.)  This, unfortunately can play right into the hands of offenders, who smugly proclaim that it wasn’t their fault, as the child started it.  Yeah right!   Such children often also display a range of disturbed behaviour from an early age (school problems, emotional outbursts, alcohol consumption, difficult behaviour etc)

I would have to say that many of the (adult) clients I see, who have been sexually abused as children, have grown up in badly dysfunctional families and/or communities in which other forms of abuse (eg physical, emotional) have been common.  Most of these people, as kids, knew there was something badly wrong at the time.  They dreaded going to the swimming pool with Grand-dad, or off with Dad in his truck, or the regular visits from uncle Victor, but felt helpless to do anything about it.  Their trauma began immediately and sometimes continued for years. 

Whilst I recognise that many sexual abuse victims experience their abuse in the way that Susan C relates it,  I would hesitate to say that this is the majority experience without a lot more research backing.  It should be obvious from the above that the sexual abuse of children can be very complex and varied and that making categorical statements from a sample of people in one particular city, in part of one country, at one time, is not a good basis for wide generalization.

Having said that, if I owned a copy, I would be tempted to take the scissors to some parts of it!

OK then, the good points: 

Comprehensive, easy to read, a wealth of information, great diagrammes showing how brain injury can happen.  The book consists of five broad sections:  An Overview; Physical Aspects; Mental Aspects; Emotional Aspects and Recovering.  There is also a glossary, resources and references for further reading.  Each category is broken down to cover topics like headaches, sexuality, vision problems, muscular/motor problems, memory etc etc.  There are sections for each identified problem on diagnostics, conventional treatment, alternative approaches and practical suggestions.  Subject to some of my gripes below, the information is easy to follow, and there is an enormous amount of good practical advice.  (And reality based advice – the principal author suffered a concussion head injury herself.) 

I think it is great to see comprehensive information on alternative approaches, like acupressure, acupuncture, massage, vitamins, homeopathy and the like.  Doubtless many experts, particularly those who are conventionally medically trained will harrumph about this, but too bad !  If people find these approaches helpful, well and good, I say.   (If I happened to have a head injury, I would make sure I took Co-enzyme Q10, Vitamin E, Magnesium and got plenty of vitamin D via sunlight.)

The not so good parts?  Well these are not so bad as to detract from the overall value of the book – more like the occasional puzzling item that has the potential to confuse or mislead.

I absolutely DO NOT like the term “mild” traumatic brain injury.  Some of these injuries are anything but mild and this is obvious from reading the case studies in the book.  This is hardly the authors’ fault, I guess, they are doubtless repeating a term that has become current in the US.  I had never heard of it until I saw it in the book and my work colleagues feel the same way about it.  The word mild has an enormous potential to mislead those who do not have a knowledge of head injury.  (Well … you’ve had a mild head injury, what’s the problem?  Get over it!)  Concussion or Closed Head Injury are much better terms and are more universally understood. 

There are lists of medications that are very outdated and of dubious value for their stated purpose.  Some examples: Who, nowadays uses Nardil (an anti-depressant with dangerous side-effects?  And Thorazine, Haldol and Navane for headaches??  These are potent anti-psychotics with horrendous side effects and their use for any sort of pain would be very dubious indeed. 

The principal author describes herself as a neuropsychologist, but throughout the book there are statements that a neuropsychologist should not be making.  There seems to be some confusing mingling of neuropsychological testing and personality testing.  Personality testing is not useful in neuropsychology. 

In places there is a shot-gun approach to problems, where, it seems, every disorder known to man is listed in conjunction with head injury.  Some of the connections made need to be taken with the proverbial grain of salt.  This has the potential to confuse and mislead. 

I think the book could do with a good editing in relation to these matters, but as stated above, they are relatively minor when compared to the wealth of good information and I would still like to have my own copy.

Additional information for those who are interested:

1.  In the book, it is suggested that if you are looking for a professional, you check their qualifications, how many head injured clients they have had, the journals they subscribe to, their professional associations, etc.  I don’t know how practical this is ?  Perhaps in the US ?  I suspect that in most circumstances, particularly if you are fronting up to the public health system, you probably won’t have this luxury.  I would suggest you would be better off trying to make sure you see someone who has empathy, a willingness to explore options with you and a willingness to challenge their own assumptions, training etc.  You could find someone with all the bells and whistles who is cold, clinical and arrogant.  If you start off by stating your symptoms and the person seeing you looks puzzled, tells you they can’t understand why it would be like that and perhaps suggests/implies it is “all in your head” – look elsewhere.

2.  There is an old saying in medicine – don’t make assumptions.  This can be applied when dealing with the medical and allied professions too !  Don’t assume that your doctor knows about head injury and its consequences.  Don’t assume that specialist physicians know either.  Don’t assume that psychiatrists know about head injury – they often don’t.  Don’t assume a neurologist will know.  Don’t assume that all psychologists know, or are qualified to investigate. 

 A couple of years ago, a young man was referred to me, he had been hit on the head at work and even though he was wearing a safety helmet, he was knocked to the ground stunned.  Three years later he was still having a substantial number of symptoms – fierce headaches, memory problems, sleep disturbances, noise intolerance, light intolerance, tiredness, difficulty processing information etc.  He had seen numerous doctors and specialists, who all professed to be puzzled, he had been denied insurance and injury compensation.  When he told me this, before we got anywhere near testing, I told him he had had a concussion and likely had post-concussion syndrome.  He looked at me quizzically and said “What’s concussion?”  Amazing!  He had seen doctors and specialists galore and no-one had recognised concussion and post-concussion syndrome. 

3.  Beware those who would over-test.  Some professionals just love to issue tests.  They would issue and recommend every test known to man.  There needs to be a point to testing, it needs to be for your benefit.  If you have had a head injury, testing, even the routine required testing, can be utterly exhausting.  (Take someone with you who can drive you home.)  Testing should demonstrate your  abilities and your deficits and should inform a programme, or advice as to what you can do to manage deficits. 

Two tests which are often used as a starting point in neuropsycholgical assessment at the Wechsler Adult Intelligence Scale (WAIS) and the Wechsler Memory Scale (WMS.)  The WMS, fairly obviously tests various aspects of memory.  The WAIS is an IQ test, but the purpose is not just to obtain an IQ score.  Each of the test sub-scales makes some assessment of a partcular brain function – memory, speed of information processing, ability to manipulate information, sequential reasoning etc.  The outcomes of these tests may suggest the need for further investigation, but as I state above, testing should not just go on and on.  Remember, at the end of it all, you will still have to manage your symptoms. 

It seems to be popular in the US to mix personality testing into neuropsychological testing.  I am an old fashioned neuropsychologist and regard this as a waste of time.  The book mentions a test called the MMPI (Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory.)  It has always been controversial.  I think it would be much more useful if it was printed on tissue paper.

4.  Beware the use of alcohol and other drugs.  (I don’t think the book covers this well.)  Some people try to drink as they did before they had a head injury, only to find that even small amounts of alcohol absolutely flatten them.  Some, I have known, have tried stimulants such as methamphetamine and cocaine to try to pick themselves up, but this too is disastrous.  These substances cause brain cell damage at the best of times and losing more brain cells after a head injury is the last thing you need. 

Cannabis can give the illusion of being helpful, but again, this substance clouds consciousness at the best of times and that is not what you need.

Be cautious of drugs of the Valium family.  They can make you feel better but there is a price if they are used too long.  They are very addictive and the addiction is hard to shake.  They should only be prescribed as a short-term measure. 

Unfortunately there are no medications that can repair brain injury.  Only time and self-care can do that, though as stated in the book, natural healing methods, supplements and nutrition may be helpful.

5.  Brain injury effects can be cumulative.  Many people get a head injury through contact sport and return to their game of choice as soon as they feel better.  If they get another head injury, the effects tend to be worse and longer lasting.   And the next one … well, you get the picture.

6.  Most people who have a concussion, or so-called “mild” brain injury recover fairly well within a few months.  Some, however, don’t either because the damage was more severe, or for reasons we don’t really understand.  One of the most distressing things about head injury with long lasting effects is that sufferers start to think they are going crazy, or losing their mind, or begin to despair of ever getting well again.  If this applies to you, you may need some assistance dealing with the stress that this causes.  Getting in touch with a brain injury association, or a knowledgeable counsellor may help.

It is an autobiographical account of how John S grappled with death, notions of death, what (if anything) happens after death and what the Christian religion (and, by implication, other beliefs) would have followers believe.  He charts the development of his thinking from his earliest contact with death, (the goldfish going belly up and being flushed) through to the passing of acquaintances, wider family, his father, his officiating at numerous funerals and eventually the contemplation of his own approaching demise.  Intermingled with this, is his journey through Christianity, from naive young believer to fundamentalist, to critically questioning and finally discarding the overtly superstitious beliefs that Christianity was burdened with from its earlier days.  Beliefs such as the virgin birth, Jesus as literal son of God, Jesus as God-man, miracles, the resurrection and the like.  As the sub-title of the book suggests, he has moved beyond religion, beyond theism and beyond heaven and hell. 

He concludes that most of our notions of God have been invented by man and most of religion exists for the purpose… “to manipulate the external supernatural deity so that this deity will bring divine power to bear in the service of frightened human beings.”  Ouch!  No wonder John S has become a hated and reviled figure for much of traditional Christianity. 

He expounds a new (for Christianity anyway) vision of God (though he was not necessarily the originator of this view.)  I quote from p.156:  “God is not an external being apart from us, to which we must relate as powerless ones to the all-powerful one.  “God” is more a glimpse into the meaning of the totality of human experiences, where we recognize that we are part of an ultimate grasping after a universal consciousness with which we are one and in which we are whole.  This universal consciousness was, however, hidden from us until we exhausted the possibilities of religion in which God was always perceived as other.”  If I am understanding him correctly here, he is talking of the evolution of human spirituality and suggesting that primitive and superstition notions were a necessary stage which we have now begun to outgrow. 

The above gives an indication of his final conclusions as to eternal life – the book’s title.  Escaping the barriers of time and space – eternity is within us.  I can’t do his conclusions justice in a few short sentences, you will need to read the book yourself for this, but my opinion is, it is well worth the effort. 

I am not a Christian.  Never will be.  But I have a fascination for how the dominant belief system of our culture came into being, consolidated it’s power, sustained it’s existence, how it is grappling with it’s decline and whether indeed it has a future.

For me, John S (and others – eg John Hick, Richard Holloway) represent a step forward in the evolutionary development of spirituality.  A step away from superstitious nonsense, a step towards universalism, a step into rational spirituality.  And, I think, it is the path that Christianity must take in order to survive long-term.  (I am struck by how some of the ideas presented in this book parallel those of (original) Buddhism in which the ultimate goal of liberation was a state of  nothingness.  Not the nothingness of annihilation, but rather no-thingness  the absence of any attachment to any thing – a state of pure being.)

I would like to own this book and will eventually hunt down a copy through Amazon or some-such.    For more books by John Spong, see here.

The subject is a bit of a mouth-full - Neuroplasticity.  Not it’s not about how plastics affect your brain, it is about the ability of the human brain to reorganise itself by forming new neural connections throughout the life-span of the individual.  Neuroplasticity can allow neurons (brain cells) to compensate for injury, or for harmful brain conditions and adjust their activities in response to new situations and changes of environment.  And, what’s more, these changes can occur quite quickly in response to changes in the way we think.

Only a short time ago, this was considered impossible.  It was thought that by the time an individual had reached adulthood, their brain was a “fixed entity” not able to grow further, or to compensate for injury, or to change its functional structure to any significant degree.  Whilst this remains true to some degree (we can’t grow new bits of brain if we lose them) we have discovered that the brain is much more changeable than we ever considered possible.

Jeffrey S, working with people who suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, became dis-satisfied with the traditional approaches to therapy, namely Behaviour Therapy, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and Response Prevention.  Sometimes these treatments can be perceived by the client as demeaning, shaming and aversive. 

Using mindfulness approaches, he discovered that by having people focus attention away from unhelpful, negative thoughts and urges and towards positive things, that they could make enduring changes to their own brain pathways.  He devised a four-part strategy – the four R’s:

      Relabel – “This is a bothersome thought to do with a brain wiring problem.”

      Reattribute:  “This is a brain glitch from an overactive brain area.”

      Refocus:  Direct positive attention elsewhere.

      Re-evaluate:  “The thoughts and symptoms are not worthy of attention.”

Using these strategies, he found that clients had better “buy in” to therapy and achieved good lasting outcomes.  What is more, brain scans were able to show changes in neuronal pathways.

All very fascinating, however he then goes on to give an extended account of the development of research on neuroplasticity and the struggle to have the ideas accepted.  This is not everyone’s cup of tea, especially the bits that cover the rather gruesome aspects of animal research.  Some reviewers have complained that this part of the book is extremely repetitive.  Well, yes it is, but it gives an account of the research development from a number of different perspectives and angles and it does actually have some fascinating and inspiring parts, if you can plough through it all.

There follows another lengthy discussion relating neuroplasticity to quantum mechanics, free will and the like, which I would imagine many people would find about as exciting as watching paint dry.  Again, philosophically fascinating if you have an interest and knowledge of the area, but I suspect most readers would prefer this to be much shorter.

I would have preferred to see much more discussion of the ideas in actual therapy and more case study examples.  These criticisms aside, the book has been well worth the price I paid for it and I am taking every opportunity to put the principles into practice.  I have heard that the mindfulness/refocusing approach also works well for the management of depression and anxiety.

Richard S is a psychiatrist who has worked (in the US) for more than 25 years with those who suffer from addictions, both to alcohol and to various drugs, both legal and illicit.  In this book, he tackles some of the big questions:  Is addiction a disease? Why me?  Does treatment work? Is a spiritual awakening necessary for recovery?

He provides one of the best discussions I have come across on the “voluntary” nature of addiction.  Addicts of various types are often regarded with scant sympathy, even by medical professionals, when compared, for example, with cancer sufferers or accident victims.  “A self-inflicted condition” is a commonly heard expression.  Yet whilst the taking of a drug is a choice (in initial stages anyway,) the condition of addiction is not.  No-one chooses to be addicted – this is a neurological condition (or perhaps neuro-psychological.)  Doing something about the condition of addiction is, however a choice and this book provides good insights into how to make this choice and to maintain sobriety. 

There are excellent discussions of topics such as risk factors for developing addiction, problems of diagnosis, measuring treatment outcomes, goals of treatment, medications and why medical science can’t “cure” addiction.

Richard S also tackles the topic of spirituality in recovery from addiction, which few other authors do – not well anyway.  He covers the meaning of spirituality and endeavours to separate out this concept from denominational religion.  Topics include addiction as a metaphor for human suffering, thinking about a higher power, are science and spirituality compatible.  Unfortunately the medical and psychological professions do their best to pretend that spirituality does not exist – or is at best irrelevant and the whole concept does get badly confused with religion, particularly “traditional” Christianity and this, understandably puts many people off.

My only criticisms are that the author tends to regard 12 step programmes as the only effective treatment option.  There are other approaches which have good success rates for those who remain with them in treatment.  In the final chapter, discussing spirituality, he also puts forward some notions that are based on some rather questionable concepts and I think he would lay himself open to being shot down by those of a skeptical orientation.

These relatively small points aside, this is an excellent book and is well worth owning.

Everybody knows, the reason for the fall,

When woman tempted man down in Paradise’s hall

                                                                                                                                                 (Manfred Mann – Fox on the Run.)

This story has played a fundamental part in the formation of the Western Christian psyche and has resulted in an enduring misogyny, guilt, persecution and cruelty.  Right through to today, we can  see this story being repeated afresh, even in books for children. 

And, just about everything I have ever read about it is WRONG!!

(By the way – misogyny means hatred/dislike of women, not hatred/dislike of gynecology.)

In the beginning:

When I was a lad in school, there were a number of rather churchy girls in our classes.  My mates and I (brats that we were,) delighted in teasing them and debating derisively with them about their beliefs.  Until, one day, being a fairly bright young fellow, it dawned on me that I was arguing on a topic that I actually knew nothing about.  (“So what’s changed?,” asks my beloved.)

In those days, in Henderson, West Auckland, there was an old junk shop, where there is nowadays a parking lot.  This shop was filled with all sorts of fascinating clutter and was presided over by a crusty, grumpy, gnomic old fellow, who would chase us out of the place if he figured (quite rightly) that we were not going to buy anything.  On a shelf behind the counter, there was a stack of old bibles.  One evening, I bought one.  It cost me 10 shillings (about $1  in today’s money – but two hours work then) so this must have been in 1966, as we changed to decimal currency in 1967.  I have it still.  It is the King James version, with no date of publication that I can see, but there is a hand written note on the fly-leaf stating that it was presented by Ralph to “Dear Mary,” his sister, who was leaving Melbourne  for New Zealand in 1874.

On arriving home, I started reading at the beginning – Genesis.  I was stunned!  Seldom before had I read such words of simplicity, power and beauty: My favourite, most evocative lines, from the very beginning:

1:1  In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth

1:2.  And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness

was on the face of the deep .  And the spirit of God moved

upon the face of the waters.

I read the first three chapters of Genesis.  And I have returned to read them many times over the years.  What a wonderful story.  But even then, at the age of 16 or so, my thought was: This is not an account of mankind’s fall, or of any sort of sin, original or otherwise.  This is the story of mankind’s ascent, of how we  became human and it is told in a wonderfully allegorical form, which was never meant to be taken literally.  Let me explain:

The Garden of Eden

Think for a moment about animals living in the wild.  Don’t they live in a “Garden of Eden?”  All their requirements are right there.  Their shelter is right there.  They have no need of clothing.  Their food is “the plant and herb of the field” – and often enough each other.  In this garden of Eden, the lion truly does lie down with the lamb.  And tomorrow he will lie down with another one!  Animals don’t really know death, or life for that matter.  They come into being, they do what they do and at the end of their lives (either from old age, disease, or being lunched on by something bigger and faster,) they just stop.  The rest of the herd may show a moment of consternation, but then moves on looking for the next meal. 

Would you like to live in a Garden of Eden?  I sure wouldn’t.  Those first two or three chapters of Genesis don’t actually say it was a nice place.  Besides, I like my comfortable, warm, safe house. I like quality music on a good sound system, I like the occasional glass of red wine, good dentistry, comfortable underwear and food that doesn’t fight back.  I certainly don’t fancy dying screaming as I become something else’s food. 

Evolution:

So, we have the situation where God (whatever/whoever we believe God to be) created the earth more or less instantly over a period of many millions of years.  (Time doesn’t have any meaning if there is no-one there to measure it.)

Now, if you will, picture the scene:  A group of Adams and Eves, proto-humans, living an animal like existence, browse their way across the Savannah, foraging for whatever they can eat and with a wary eye out for large and hungry predators. 

Gen: II, 16: And the Lord God commanded the man, saying,

of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:

17:  But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil

thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou

eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.  (My emphasis.)

(Yes I know this was before God created Eve from Adam’s rib – don’t be picky!)

Note that it was the tree of the knowledge of good and evil – not an apple tree.  Now what does it take to know good and to know evil?  It takes conceptual thinking surely?  (Conceptual thinking is the ability to think in concepts.  Good and evil are concepts and the ability to think this way requires not only a degree of intelligence, but also a sense of “I-ness” or self-identity.)

The Fall (or was it?)

So the group of Adams and Eves are sometimes happily and most times warily foraging away, when all of a sudden (see note on time above) Eve begins to think in concepts: “I like that – that is good.”  “I don’t like that – that is bad.”  She thereby reaches out, (with a little prompting from the serpent) takes and eats the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  She takes a step up the evolutionary pathway to truly human.  In that instant, the garden of Eden is gone from Mankind forever.  She begins to know good and evil.  And, once you shake that tree, all sorts of things start dropping out:  love, hate, cruelty, kindness, jealousy, greed, revenge, awareness of life and of death – and what happens after death.   And then there was Adam.

(Sigh – the gals got one up on us here guys.  Could that be the source of all that misogyny over the centuries?    But can’t you just picture the scene:

Eve:      ”Adam, love, I think that log would look better over the other side of the cave and how about taking that pile of bones off down the hill, they’re starting to pong.  Oh and while you are at it, what about some art-work on the walls.  A few running animals and the like?”

Adam:      “Huh?”

Eve:          “Come on Adam, do a bit of evolving here. You’ve been sitting on you butt for 200,000 years.  Wake up, get with the tour, smell the coffee!”

Adam:      “Coffee!  Pizza!  Fishing!  Beer!  Television!  Way to go babe!”

Eve:          “Oh God, what have I started?”)

So, having discovered conceptual thinking,

III : 7  … the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked;

 and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.

(Just in passing, if you are inclined to take all this sort of thing literally, doesn’t the notion of a talking serpent seem just a teensy bit strange?  And, in case you are inclined to say nasty, evil serpent, take a look at Matthew 10 : 16  “Behold I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents and harmless as doves.”  Hmm!  The serpent can symbolise wisdom – isn’t that interesting?) 

Anyway, back to my theme, then comes God, walking in the garden in the cool of the day (and presumably pretending that he is not omniscient.)  He calls for Adam, Where art thou?  Adam and Eve, exercising their new-found conceptual thinking, have hidden from him, ashamed that they were naked.

Ah-ha, says God (Gen III : 11)  Who told thee that thou wast naked?

(Adam, of course, catches on to this conceptual thinking lark rather quickly, especially to notions of responsibility (denial of) and blame and when put on the spot by God, dumps Eve right in it:  III : 12 : “The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree and I did eat.” )  And then, according to traditional interpretations, the fertilizer hits the atmospheric recirculator for Adam and Eve. 

But hold on a moment!  Have a read of that chapter and tell me where it says that God was angry.  True, the serpent gets his butt kicked (and his legs ripped off,  - III : 14)  but where does it say that He was angry with Adam and Eve?  Yes, yes, yes, I can see all the fingers pointing to III : 16 (I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children … etc.)  And III : 17, to Adam, (… cursed is the ground for your sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life.) 

But isn’t God here depicted as talking with A&E rather like a father who has seen his children grow beyond their childhood and begin to move towards adulthood?  And to warn them of the trials, tribulations and dangers out there.  How many of us, who are loving parents, watching their children grow, have not experienced that moment:

My child, my beautiful child,

You have left your childhood forever,

You can never return

You are entering the world, with all it’s beauties and wonders

And all it’s cruelties, sorrows and suffering

You will long to return to your childhood – even on your death-bed

But you cannot.  The path leads ever forward.

And the clincher is, III : 21

Unto Adam, and also to his wife, did the Lord God make coats of skins, and clothed them.

Hardly the actions of an enraged deity, disowning his creations and chucking them out in the street, is it?

So Adam and Eve walked out (figuratively speaking) of the garden of Eden, as they absolutely had to, in order to begin the journey of human social and spiritual evolution.  The story told in Genesis is then, is an account of Mankind’s ascent, it should be seen as a triumph, an ode to joy, not some crabbed and nasty fall into sin. 

(Just in passing, compare what I have written above, to the First Noble Truth of Buddhism: that much of life is pain and suffering.  We struggle throughout our life against all sorts of vicissitudes and tribulations, we inevitably age, sicken and die.  The Buddha went on to reveal the Eightfold Noble Path, to assist his followers to attain freedom from the cycles of pain and suffering.)

Yes I am aware that Genesis is part of the Jewish scriptures and is not Christian as such.  It has, however been appropriated and incorporated into Christianity, where it was given it’s negative spin.  My impression is that Judaism has been much more inclined to view the story as symbolic and to interpret it in many different ways.  (For more on this see Karen Armstrong – The Bible, the Biography, reviewed on this site.)

III : 23 :  Therefore the Lord God sent him forth from

the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.

24:  So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the

garden of Eden Cherubims and a flaming sword which

turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.

Cherubim #1:  “It’s my turn to hold the flaming sword.  You’ve held it since 4004 BC*.  I never get to hold it, it’s not fair.”

Cherubim #2:  “Oh, here – go for it.  Sorry. I didn’t realise.  Tell the truth, the thing creeps me out a bit, turning this way and that.  Like it’s looking for something it can lop off.”

Cherubim #1:  “Let’s face it – they aren’t coming back.  We haven’t seen hide not hair of them for millennia.  They’re out there begetting and begatting like rabbits, building, fighting, partying, fiddling their taxes.  I don’t think they actually want to come back – apart from a few fundamentalists, and they’re a few scrolls short of a revelation, I can tell you. ”

Cherubim #2: “God, I hate this job.” 

*  In 1650, Irish Archbishop James Ussher, after counting backwards through all the begetting and begatting, (he really should have got out more) published his conclusions that the world was created on Sunday, October 23rd, 4004BC, beginning at sunset of the 22nd.   He didn’t actually put a time on it, as popular notion has it, but some of his contemporaries seem to have – eg 9:00am, or 3:00pm (presumably GMT.)

Eventually it passes off, leaving you feeling weak, sick and exhausted for hours, sometimes for days.  You are terrified that it will happen again, but know that it probably will.

Panic attack.

Panic attack, or panic disorder affects around 1% to 2% of the population, (or so I’m told, that seems a bit high to me, frankly but …)  They usually begin during teenage years, or early 20′s and women are about twice as likely to be affected as men.

These are my tips and strategies for managing panic attacks:

1.  A principle:

The principle I usually suggest to panic attack sufferers is this:  Gain a little control, even if it is only a very little bit of control.  Once this is established, the attacks don’t seem quite as fearsome and from a small beginning you can establish greater degrees of control until you can diminish the attacks to zero.

2.  It won’t kill you!

In the midst of an attack, it is all too easy to believe that you are about to die.  The attacks are terrifying and you feel your heart is about to burst or you will suffocate.  But you have survived each attack (or you wouldn’t be here!) and you will survive the next one.  People don’t die from panic attacks.  Even knowing this, is a small amount of control – “I am not going to die from this.”

3.  It will pass.

Hard to remind yourself of this in the midst of an attack, but again, as with #2 above, they do pass, (otherwise you would be in a permanent state of panic attack.)    Have a look at my post on this site – This Too Will Pass.  Begin to remind yourself – it won’t kill me; it will pass, I will survive.  A little more control.

4.  Manage your thoughts (self-talk.)

Have a look at my post on this site: Managing Unhelpful Thoughts.  Our internal dialogue (self talk) is very powerful.  If you have the sort of self-talk that goes: “Oh God, here I go again. I can’t stand this, I’m losing control, I’m going crazy, I can’t breath, I’m going to die, everyone is staring at me ….” then you are setting yourself up to make a bad experience so much worse.  If by contrast, you are able to say to yourself something like: “Bugger it, another panic attack, OK, I will survive it, it will pass off, come on get it over with, I can manage it, who gives a **** if anyone is watching me …” then you are much more likely to maintain an edge of control and feel better about yourself for doing so.  Become more aware of unhelpful thinking and incorporate positive management strategies into your daily life.

5.  Breathe!

Sometimes panicky feelings can be caused by poor breathing.  Either gasping too much air, or breathing too shallowly and too fast, alters the chemical composition of our blood, causing dizziness, nausea, chest pains and the like.  Learning to breathe properly can avert this.  Have a look at the information here on Hyperventilation Syndrome.  Have a look also at this information on Yoga Breathing, which is a good form of breathing to learn and cultivate.  When you have learned to breathe well and steadily, incorporate it into your daily routines.  Take the time to remind yourself, until breathing properly becomes a habit.

6.  Mindfulness/Meditation

Have a look at my post on this site: Calmness Through Mindfulness.  Meditation is very similar to mindfulness, but with a somewhat different focus and purpose.  An excellent on-line book on meditation is Mindfulness in Plain English, by Henepola Gunaratana.

Many people who suffer from anxiety and panic attacks spend much of their time locked into unpleasant memories of the past, or imagining an unpleasant future, or away in a fantasy world imagining unpleasant things that might happen.  Well, as Mark Twain famously said: “I’ve had a lot of problems in my life, most of which never happened.”

Mindfulness and meditation are means of bringing our mind into the present and keeping it there.  They are also means of developing states of calmness, both physical and mental, maintaining that calmness through times of trouble and stress and discerning what is real from what is imaginary.  A very pertinent feature of mindfulness is the realisation that any sort of thought can come up in our mind, but we don’t have to accept it as real, or react to it. 

Here again, is the development of control.  If we can be aware of and manage what is happening in our mind, we develop insight and calmness and our thoughts and our body-reactions are much less likely to spin out of control.

7.  Relaxation

This is closely allied to mindfulness/meditation.  Being able to physically relax gives us control of body and mind and alters our systemic levels of harmful stress chemicals such as cortisol.

There are all sorts of relaxation methods: listening to music (thrash metal, death metal and rap not recommended!) Tai Chi, Progressive Muscle Relaxation, to name a few.  My own method is to take a good full yoga breath, hold it for a few seconds, then imagine the tension in my body being breathed out.  I mentally move my awareness through my body, breathing out tension, moving my awareness finally to my face, lips and eyes, making sometimes subtle movements of small muscles that take away an amazing amount of tightness.

8.  Traumas and triggers.

There is a high association between trauma and panic disorder.  Sexual, physical, emotional abuse, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, often contribute to the triggering of a panic attack.  Other people, however have attacks that are not related to trauma.  Sometimes a particular situation, or memory is enough to trigger an attack.  Going to a supermarket, where there are crowds of people, for example, is quite common in setting off an attack for some people.

If you know your specific trigger, a procedure called systematic desensitization  may help.  The idea is that you slowly expose yourself to increasing amounts of the situation you find stressful until you can manage it without freaking out.  The key is start small and go slowly!  I recently saw someone who had a tremendous fear of (injection) needles.  I started with “I could go down-stairs and get a syringe – how do you feel about that?”  We spent quite some time dealing with feelings, emotions, physical reactions, self-talk and getting everything under control.  Then, with my client’s permission, I went down-stairs and got a syringe.  Coming back, I said, “It’s in my pocket.  How do you feel?  Same procedure.  Then I put it on the far corner of the desk.  How do you feel?  Eventually, they were comfortable touching it, taking the cap off, looking at the business end etc.  Slowly, respectfully, carefully, dealing completely with what came up at each stage.  It works.

(I am very wary of a technique called flooding.  As the name might suggest this consists of surrounding the person with the stimulus they find scary, flooding them with it until they simply get used to it and stop freaking.  I think this is potentially harmful for serious problems.  Besides, I’ve worked with guys in the prisons who could pull my arms off if I annoyed them!) 

You may well need professional help for traumas.  If you see a counsellor or psychologist, do make sure that they are actively working with you on your problem and giving you strategies and insights.  Fairly recently I have seen two people who spent years in vague, waffly, hand patting “therapy,” costing thousands of dollars and leaving them no better at the end of it than when they started. 

9.  Co-opt your existing skills.

Often, the people I see have very good skills, the principles of which they could make use of to assist in managing their panic attacks.  One man was the driver of big rigs.  He could drive the largest of trucks calmly and competently through the worst of road or traffic situations,  I suggested to him that he take these skills and apply their principles to the management of his anxiety/panic.  He found that he could practically and usefully do so.  So can you! 

10.  Medication.

Medication can be very helpful, but beware, it can also be the proverbial double edged sword.  It is also clear to me that a medication that one person may find helpful, may be of little use to another person and may even make the problem worse.  Consult with your medical adviser and listen to what your mind/body is telling you.

Anti-depressants:

      Tricyclic anti-depressants (TCI’s).    Examples: Amitriptyline, Nortriptyline.  These have been around for a long time and are said to be helpful.  I don’t see a lot of evidence, mainly, I think because they are not so often used nowadays.  They have quite a few side effects and are dangerous in overdose.

      The Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitors, (SSRI”S)  Examples: Prozac, Citalopram, Aropax etc.  These have less side effects and are not so dangerous in overdose.  They can be helpful.  Note, however that some side effects can make the problem worse.  If you take them, monitor what is happening for you.  Most anti-depressants don’t begin to have a full effect until you have been taking them for three to four weeks. (NB – mixing TCI’s and SSRI’s can be very dangerous.) 

The newer generation meds in this family, the selective serotonin/ noradrenaline (norepinephrine) re-uptake inhibitors such as Effexor/Venlafaxine also seem to be helpful

      Benzodiazepines.  Examples: Valium (diazepam) Clonazepam, Lorazepam, Oxazepam, Alprazolam etc etc.  There are dozens of them.  Some of these will deal with anxiety/panic, right enough, but beware – they are addictive.  They can produce a nasty addiction which can be very hard to shake.  The ideal nowadays is that they should not be used for longer than about a fortnight, but they are often (in my sometimes less than humble opinion) prescribed much too readily and for too long.

      Alcohol, Cannabis, Opiates.  Using these to manage anxiety/panic is asking for trouble.  If you have problems with these substances, seek professional advice. 

So, medication can be helpful, but my suggestion is to use medication in conjunction with the sort of psychological strategies that I have been outlining above, so that you can eventually either minimise your reliance on meds, or eliminate them entirely. 

End notes:

I re-state my principle outlined above:  Gain some control, even if it is a little bit, then expand that control as your confidence grows until it overtakes and manages the panic disorder.

Here is another principle:  Don’t wait until you are having an attack before trying to work with these strategies – that will not be particularly effective.  The very time you need to implement these techniques is when you are feeling OK.  Developing calmness, developing control, exploring your own body/mind connection, learning to turn down the stresses before they get out of control is the essence of prevention. 

Remember the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland?

“I’m late, I’m late for a very important date.  No time to say hello, goodbye, I’m late, I’m late, I’m late.  I’m late, I’m late and when I wave, I lose the time I save…….”

Slow down, bunny. Breathe. Be calm. Relax.  Smell the flowers.  They’ll wait for you!

Bruce Perry is a US child psychiatrist and the book is an account of a succession of his cases, illustrating various forms of severe trauma suffered by children and his subsequent treatment of them.

There is the case from which the title of the book is derived – a boy who was raised in a dog cage; the Branch Davidian children (the Waco disaster); children who were sexually abused, children who were isolated and neglected and more.  Horrible achingly sad accounts of inhumane, cruel and neglectful treatment.  Not for the squeamish.

But for each of these cases, Bruce P. gives an account of how treatment made a difference, bringing hope and healing to shattered lives.  He provides a wealth of information, much of which goes against the grain of established opinion on such matters.  What perked my interest particularly, was the discussion on how neglect and abuse adversely affected these children neurologically.  To put it simply, abuse and neglect cause significant brain impairment in the growing child.

But, turn this information around (and Bruce P. Does) and we know that child neurological development is enhanced by love, loving touch, comfort,  stimulation, richness of environment, consistency, caring positive parenting.  All the things that my daughter (and I)  have been emphasising in positive parenting posts.

The accounts in this book are those for which these was success, (at least partly.)  Sadly, for every success story, there are many more whose lives continue to plummet into disaster.  Books like this, however provide a light, particularly for those of us who are working to help undo the damage.

The outcomes for these individuals have been a variety of psychological conditions, ranging from anxiety disorders, panic attacks, depression, suicidal feelings, self-harm, drug abuse and addiction, feelings of worthlessness and helplessness, self-loathing, sexual dysfunction and self-esteem that is virtually non-existent.  Many feel totally alienated from ‘normal’ people.

It would be fair to say that most people I see who fall into this category have very poor concepts of self and seriously distorted views of life’s meaning and purpose.

Often, after I have completed an assessment, I invite the person I am talking with, to consider the following, in the context of their life experiences:

First, I draw pictures of two babies:

(Actually, I can’t draw anywhere near that well and can only manage stick figures, but no-one has laughed at me so far and I’m trying to be a little professional here!)

Then I say: Here we have two babies, born at the same time.  You could say that these babies have been created by God and are thus entirely equal. Or, if you are not into God, here are two babies, born of the substance of creation, however that happened and, in terms of value, worthiness, etc., are entirely equal.

Let’s look at the first baby, who grows to have the following life experiences:

I point out that when people have messages of this sort put upon them, eventually they come to believe that they are true and they become the messages.  They become sad, unhappy people with lousy self-esteem, who often view themselves as deserving of all the dreadful things that have happened to them and deserving of all the disadvantages that have been heaped on them. 

Next, consider baby #2, who grows up with the following life experiences:

This child also grows up to “become the message,” to reflect the life experiences that he/she received.  Unlike child #1, however the outcome is much more likely to be someone with sound self-esteem, who is confident, can relate positively to others, who believes that they are worthwhile and who is psychologically robust and resilient. 

This, roughly speaking, as a big part of the process by which we grow up to become the person we are and how we develop the self-identity which we wear through our lives.  For baby #1 the outcomes have been dire. 

I then return to the image we constructed of baby #1:

I point out that these dreadful messages are not the real you.  These are only the messages and life experiences that others have put upon you and which, by and large, you have come to identify as you.  In fact they are the twisted and disturbed projections of other people’s problems, which they had no right to dump onto you.

Where, then, is the real you?

Remember at the beginning, I drew images of two identical babies.  Here is an indication of the real you – a creation of God, (or a part of however creation was created,) and thus equal in worth or value to anyone else. 

Once you are able to recognise that the identity that others have put upon you is just that – something false and toxic that other have dumped you with, then you can set about changing it.

(OK, the development of the identity of baby #2 has largely been influenced by others too, but this has been loving, caring and nurturing – who would seek to change that?)

Sometimes, what I have outlined above, is all that people need.  Wow, they say, – I’ve never thought of it that way before – and off they go with a copy of the drawings and begin the process of turning their life around.  Usually, though, it takes a bit more than that.

I usually suggest that people spend some time looking at the images of themselves that they have, over time, come to believe are true, then decide which parts of these they want to keep and which they want to discard.  (Not everyone’s life experience is uniformly bad, or uniformly good for that matter.)  Then, I assist them in the process of discovering and acknowledging those qualities of self that are valuable, worthy, stable and meaningful.  This can be hard work for someone who has been conditioned over many years to believe the worst about themselves and to discount any worthwhile qualities they have. 

One young man, who had had a dreadfully abusive early life, was struggling to believe anything good about himself.  Eventually, knowing that he was the father of a young boy, I asked him if he would treat his son the way he had been treated at that age.  He sat bolt upright – “NO!” he almost shouted, “NEVER!”  In that instant, he realized that he was a strong and loving parent, who cared deeply for his child and had broken a destructive and crippling cycle of abuse.

I suggest to my clients that they spend time at home, constructing a list of their good and worthwhile qualities.  Perhaps they are kind, care about others, are good parents, have an artistic talent, are keen to better themselves, care for a pet, assist at a community agency, etc. etc.  Each time they become aware of a quality, they are to write it down on their list and put it on a home notice board, or stick it to their fridge and look at it frequently, to remind themselves of who they really are and who they are steadily becoming. 

Once this process is started, it continues.  Plant a garden, (weed out the unhelpful thoughts occasionally) and soon it will flower and flourish.

The smacking debate in New Zealand continues to rage.  A few days ago, one of our Sunday newspapers ran an article on the issue.  I spluttered indignantly into my morning coffee as I read a quote from some pro-smacking character to the effect that:

“Children are not little bundles of innocence:  they are little bundles of depravity and can develop into unrestrained agents of evil unless trained and disciplined.  Selfishness, violence, lying, cheating, stealing and other such manifestations of rebellion are just the child unpacking some of this sinful foolishness from the vast store in his heart.”

I had a certain opinion on this, the politest words of which were: Who the …… was the ….. who said that?

“Ah,” says my wife (the historian) nonchalantly, “that’s from the bible.”

“The wha..?” I replied eloquently.

She disappeared off into the chaos she calls her office and emerged a short time later with a reference to a lecture she hosted recently.  “Here it is,” says she, “Psalm 51:5.”

Muttering darkly, I sifted through my book-case for my old bible, purchased for ten shillings in 1966 (approx. $1 then) and which contains a hand written dedication dated 1874 – (more about that at some future time.)  Straining my aging eyes at the tiny print I read Psalm 51:5.  In fact, I read the whole psalm, then looked up a commentary on in on the net.  51:5 reads:

“Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.”

What!? Is that it?  Here we have David grumbling because his mum seems to have been a bit of a good-time girl, how does that translate into little bundles of depravity?  Well, I suppose shapen in iniquity would be a bit on the bratty side, but hang about, read a little further:

55:7 says:”Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me and I shall be whiter than snow.” 

Well, if that’s all it takes, the iniquity can’t have been all that foul.  A spot of sacred herb and a bit of a scrub-up wouldn’t work on some of the characters I’ve come across, believe you me!  I took a turn around the garden.  Hmm, no Hyssop.  I wonder if Rosemary would do the trick – got plenty of that.

OK, the pro biff yer kids types also cite Proverbs 22:15.  Back to the fine print:

“Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”

Ouch! That seems pretty cut and dried doesn’t it?  But, hang on, take a look at this excellent post from a thinking Christian parent.  Ah-ha!  So the rod of correction is for guidance,  not something to beat the crap out of your kid with.  Interesting what you find when you actually read what is there, rather than pluck items out of context, isn’t it?

Also quoted in support of clout your kids is Jeremiah 17:9:

“The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked: who can know it?”

I read the whole chapter  (oh dear, much more of that and I’d have been howling at the moon – where’s the prozac?) – it doesn’t seem to be about children at all, but rather Jeremiah having a good old kvetch about some place called Judah.  And all so very gloomy and pessimistic – but isn’t that how he got his name? (!)

I hold the view that children are sacred.  This does not mean that children do not need guidance and discipline.  It does not mean that children are incapable of behaving badly.  Nor does it mean that positive parenting is an easy way, or a laissez-faire affair.  Fleeting fantasies about joining an axe murderers empathy club are par for the course, as is chronic anxiety disorder, hypervigilance, several conditions that the American Psychiatric Association hasn’t come to grips with yet and reaction times that would make a striking cobra seem languid by comparison.  I’m sure we’ve all seen those little signs on cars: “Baby On Board.”  I saw one that said “Sleep Deprived Hormonally Unbalanced Mother On Board.”  I drove very carefully around that one. 

The point of this rant is that if you view your child as a little bundle of depravity and an unrestrained agent of evil, guess what you are going to see in your child?  And guess how you are likely to wind up treating him/her? (And guess how he/she will behave!)

Right.

If you have a view of your child as sacred, guess what you will see in your child?

A little bundle of iniquity who’ll block the loo with 600 metres of toilet paper the moment your back is turned that’s what!  Aaargh – where’s that rod? –  (I need it to unblock the loo!)

And finally, for those who are tempted to take scriptures too literally:  (This has been around in various forms for quite a while, but is still pretty good.)

“I do need some advice  regarding some  elements of God’s Laws and how to follow them:

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can’t I own Canadians?  (In our part of the world this would be Australians.  New Zealanders would love to have Australians as slaves, and vice versa of course.)

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? She is 6 years old, healthy, and very smart. She doesn’t want to be a slave, so that might be a problem.

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness – Lev.15: 19 24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination – Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear contact lenses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though Lev. 19 expressly forbids this: How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we just burn them at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.”

Very Truly Yours,
Anonymous